Packing it up

SO YEAH if you managed to miss it recently, Dane has accepted a job offer in Houston and we are MOVING in about 3 weeks. So there’s that.

There are so many things recently I’ve wanted to be able to explain to people but I kind of couldn’t until we knew how things were going to play out. Honestly, this job change has been in the works for like many many moons, which is why we went ahead and pulled out of our church during his interim stint at another church, and why I vacated the Missions Chair position, because we knew that while that one wasn’t likely to be super long-term, it would probably last until another full-time job did come, so it made sense to go ahead and transition. Now, that one ended up being shorter than we expected, because they knew we didn’t want part-time for very long, and they found someone who wanted part-time indefinitely, which good for them, so we ended up BACK at church and I’m sure people were like “why did you quit all that stuff and why aren’t you picking it up again?” and now you know.

MYSTERIES UPON MYSTERIES. I know that everyone has been completely bamboozled and driven to distraction thinking about our lives and wondering why we have been making the choices we made. I know you’ve all lost sleep over this, don’t even front. So now you know.

If you may allow me to ALSO go ahead and draw that parallel to why we only had that one teeny placement in February, and then didn’t take any placements after that, because this Houston thing was already in the works and we couldn’t risk having to disrupt another placement. So after waiting SEVEN months for our relicensing, we had to wait more, and now we will have to transfer agencies. Hopefully a lot of things will transfer since it is still in-state, but I expect no less than 6 mo before we are up and running again on that front. So probably a little over a year later than we kind of hoped to be moving in this direction, but c’est la vie. 

The good news is, if we don’t love the idea of our little dude being like 4 1/2 years older than his younger sibling (I don’t know but I’d love for them to be closer), we don’t actually have to start with newborns! Adoption bonus!

But rest assured (MOM) that we are absolutely moving forward with more little ones and, God-willing, adopting again, although we will be taking foster and foster-to-adopt and adoptive placements (not all at the same time HAR HAR) so we might send a couple home before we are able to finalize again, we’ll see. 

Real talk: I am abjectly terrified of moving so far from my family and fostering again. I intend to go into our new church with pretty bald expectations for them to support us. Our current church home and our family have set the bar so super high, but that’s the beauty of moving right into the middle of another piece of the Body. This would be infinity more terrifying if we weren’t being welcomed so warmly and completely by a new church.

We’ll get to buy a house, finally, which is exciting and also quite nerve-wracking. I told Dane last night that I finally sort of pinpointed what it is that scares me about it: Any Thing that we own has the potential to end up owning us, but I feel that I have seen this be true about houses more than any other particular Thing. Houses have the potential keep you where you are longer than you want to be there, they can keep you working when you want to stay home with your kids, they can keep you from going on vacations or out to dinner with your friends. 

That and there are a lot of things people take as incontrovertible, undeniable necessities in houses that I just don’t agree – I have seen too much of the rest of the world and even the rest of this country outside of the rich suburbs, and I know what humans actually NEED, and most of the time what sales people are telling me is not it. Kids can share rooms without dying. People can (gasp!) become productive members of society without having a dedicated study space. Family members can remain tolerant of and even affectionate towards each other without seven separate recreation spaces and multiple different tv rooms. I spent several years of my married life cooking in some truly teeninsey kitchens, and I’m pretty sure we didn’t starve. I’m not saying we won’t have any “comfortable” things, I’m just saying I recognize that we don’t need them. There are times I feel like our 1,000 sq ft house we’re in now is an absolute palace, and on a global scale, it totally is. Are there times I wish I could watch a movie without monitoring the volume every 2 seconds because our boy is sleeping 18″ from the speakers? Maybe. But you know what? I’ll live.

So we were just kind of talking about how I want to set a CONSERVATIVE budget for this and then I will probably be obnoxiously rigid with whatever realtor we end up working with, because I simply will not be talked into more than I want to spend, and have it lord over me for the next 10 years. Anyway that’s my naive noobie perspective. And yes, I do put it here on purpose to hold me accountable.

Anyway we’ll let you know how that goes and then maybe this will totally turn into one of those home reno blogs when we start doing all the SUPER FABULOUS AND DIRT CHEAP upgrades we’re totally going to do (ha ha) (with all the free time we’ll have) (I’m not anticipating quitting either of my jobs actually but also kind of taking on a third) (so yeah I totally will be the DIY master).

So we are excited. All of us. Little one I’m sure isn’t 100% sure what this whole thing means yet, but neither are us 2 big ones, if we’re honest. There are pros and there are cons, but more than anything, I know it’s right. 

And the truth is, we can Facebook and FaceTime and text and call and visit. We’ve already scoped out camp grounds halfway between there and here to meet up with family and friends on weekends. We’ll make so many new friends and new connections, and I’m so excited to know and love MORE people as well as we have known and loved people here the past 9 or past 31 years, depending on how you look at it.

I’ll be honest though – the one thing that just eats my lunch is this right here:


This is where I start to feel like the biggest black-hearted traitor because not a one of the 3 of them understands that they’re about to go from playing together like 3-4-5x/week, being the inseparable trio, to periodic visits and (FREQUENT!!) FaceTime calls.


Let’s not even get INTO grandparents. Alllllll of them.

Maybe they’ll always just pick up where they left off.



But we do what we need to do, right? Just please God help them always love each other like this:


(I mean, a TAD less pushing and grabbing and shirt-pulling and screaming COULD be appreciated at SOME point, but what’s lemonade without a few lemons??)

Posted in Fostering, Posts by Abbey
One comment on “Packing it up

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