As you may have seen over the weekend on Twitter/FB, we have now had our little man for 6 full months!
We have had the craziest couple of weeks. Dane and I have both been sick*, we had a conference thing at Dane’s work that we were playing at (Dane twice a day, me once a day) and a ton of random stuff going on. I’m tired! I am quite tired. I’m not gonna lie.
It’s been one of those weird periods where stuff that’s been happening or changing or that I would like to expound upon… has typically been stuff we can’t or don’t particularly want to share with the general public. That’s one of the drawbacks of this particular type of blog, is that I keep being pretty general because frankly I can’t tell you much that’s specific. Mystery! Intrigue! I’m not trying to be all “I have a secret and I’m NOT TELLING YOU,” I’m actually just lamely posting excuses for not posting more. Much better!
We did have some friends send their foster kiddos home recently after having them for almost a year. It’s one of those things like I imagine a funeral in a nursing home to be, or something. Hopefully you won’t take that disrespectfully, but it kind of slaps you in the face with your own foster-care-mortality, if you will. I’ve kind of been like “I’m just enjoying every minute I get!” And I am, and I’m going to keep doing that. But it was definitely something that puts that a little farther forward in my mind: the fact that there’s a very possible (and I’m beginning to think possibly probable) end to our little happy fun time party somewhere in the future.
Which I knew, and I know. I feel like some people see the situation as GETTING TO ADOPT THE BABY vs. HAVING TO ‘GIVE UP’** THE BABY, and if such and such custody hearing doesn’t turn out a certain way, and we don’t get to adopt, we got the losing end of the stick.
I choose to see the situation as GETTING TO KNOW AND CARE FOR AND LOVE THIS PRECIOUS BABY AT ALL vs. NEVER HAVING MET THIS PRECIOUS BABY. In which case I am super dee duper happy with and confident in our choices that we made that brought us here, and we already win.
This also means that I’m not waiting to see how it turns out adoption-wise to decide if this whole fostering thing was a good idea, and if we don’t get to adopt him, no, I am not going to regret having done it. I will never regret getting to care for him, even if it ends tomorrow (which is NOT likely, I’m not saying that, just making a point). Just so we have that out of the way. 😀
PS – Hearing tomorrow! I’m-not-sure-who will be meeting with I’m-also-not-sure-whom to discuss I’m-not-sure-what and decide on I-don’t-know. So there’s that. This time I’m not being withholding, I just don’t know anything.
PPS – I’d like to take a minute, Father’s Day or no, to just say how awesome Dane is at this whole Dad thing. I’m fortunate (that word is too small) enough to have never had a dad who’s idea of a “treat” was getting time for himself, going off on a weekend or not having to take care of the kids. And now I get to have a husband who, when using rock-paper-scissors to decide who does the bedtime routine, we don’t even have to spell out that the “winner” is the one who gets to do it, not the other way around. He delights in this child and actually gets joy from doing servant-hearted dad things like diapers and late night feedings. Take notes, dads of the world! The two in my life are about as great as it gets!
*No offense meant to any medical professionals out there, I love you all and you are brilliant educated and work hard, and I have great esteem and value for particularly those of you dealing with injury or crazy cancery illness or child birth or some such thing, but seriously, I am the kind of person that will wait as long as I possibly can, eating healthy and drinking orange juice, wearing extra sweaters and sleeping as much as I can, before I will go see a GP for an illness of whatever kind. I am sure that there are a lot of cases in which doctors identify some type of infection and treat it before it turns into something scarier, but in my experience, most things run their course, and in my experience I typically can’t tell the difference between when I do and when I don’t take medicine. It still takes days or weeks for the bug to run its course, except on medicine I feel crappy in about seven OTHER ways. Does it seem to anyone else like half the time doctors are throwing a pin on a donkey and grabbing at a possible diagnosis, probably something that is common at the moment, and throwing a drug at it? They’re always like “If that doesn’t work, come back in a week or so and we’ll try something else.” Yes, please do a crap shoot with drugs and chemicals in my body, thank you, and I’ll write you a big check. Next time I’m calling Kate.
**Did I touch on “give up” in my FYI post? No. Anyway, it’s not my favorite choice of words. Sometimes it’s appropriate. Usually the person “giving up” a baby/child, whether you’re talking about bio parents or relatives or foster parents, don’t do it willingly at all. I mean not like they’re prying them from your fingers, but I kind of think to a kid that makes it sound pretty voluntary and easy, like you were like “eh, no thanks, go ahead and have ’em,” when in fact often rights are terminated or relinquished based on a lot more difficulty and hard decisions than that phrase suggests. Semantics, I know, but still, something to think about.